"Some women are
lost in the fire.
Some women are
built from it."
I feel sick
Aside from that
I wish i could imagine a birthday party i would enjoy.
For one thing, im poor as dirt- grew up poor as dirt- and will likely die just as poor.
I just get so anxious at the thought of having to deal with everyone and everything all at once
My idea of a perfect day, and i know it sounds lame- sad even, but it’s not: solitude.. like, i feel so happy when im alone all day in the house (which is rare)
A whole day without my mom in my ear.. or having to worry about friends i really can’t trust
Everything tends to be just such a pain
-literally a physical pain. Either in my chest while i continue to observe and question my tolerance and kindness while secretly seething and keeping a careful eye on my back.
- Headaches after lengthy social interactions, or simply having had my thoughts centered too long on interests completely outside my own.
-Anxiety while i feel time is spoiling, spent basically faking everything!
I don’t want to smile, but it makes me
Even if i don’t mean the smile, it is there!
I can’t stop it and most of the time am beside myself while it happens
And i always wonder why i can’t help but act like i’m stupid.